invictus' posts with tag: invictus
|  | I do not know what the term means but for us, it means the cold water gushing out of the earth and stones and trees in that midst of the forest.
Lumanoy, as we call the place, hide its own mystery. Behind its cold water, beautiful surrounding, big balite trees (that you cannot distinguish the roots from the trunk lies stories relayed from mouth to mouth about beings more than us and of how they manifest themselves to us locals.
Whenever we have the chance, we always go there... this time there were many of us. Cousins from the first to the nth degree and lifelong friends....
'twas a great time really... |
| | Pinalad na nakauwi ng dalawang linggo sa amin...
Pista sa amin....
Kasal ng kapatid ko...
Reunion ng Clan namin...
Ligo sa Lumanoy...
meeting of friends and relatives...
at gabi-gabing pagsasama at kunting tagay.. wheee
|
| | May 1 ng gabi anggang May 2...
Pagkatapos ng kainan kina TL, lumipad ang ibang Silverhawks papuntang Quezon province....
Yun, pinagpalipas ang gabi kanila Nene Agnez sa Sariaya; naligo sa Paraiso Beach Resort sa Sariaya (where relaxation is an art, wheee); kumain sa Kamayan sa Palaisdaan sa Tayabas (the ultimate eating experience); at umakyat sa matarik na Kamay ni Hesus Grotto (said to be 3rd largest Christ Statue in the world) sa Lucban....
|
| | Gawin ko nang photo storage itong mulitiply ko...
nung end of Disyembre pa'to.. na delay lang kasi nka'y Mike yung USB...
So yun, Pinuntahan sa Baler Aurora and nearby towns |
  "Is life a mere routine, in the greater scheme of things?"
That is from the song Pilgrim's Theme and it has been on top of my head eversince I attended that graduation in Maryhurst. I was reminded the time when I plunged myself into the 'real world' that my simple wish was to be ordinary and to live a life like that of an ordinary (it's not that I am 'extra-ordinary', I am not just the usual, wheee). In the years past before then, I belabored myself in trying to be different and of feeding my thoughts of higher thoughts, of dreaming higher dreams, of aiming more than an ordinary man can get. But then, there find an end in trying to be exceptional, of trying to be different. It feels freer and happier to dive into the pool of ordinariness where I can blend... without losing my colors. During that time, I watched the film American Beauty where says a character, "Nothing can be any worse in life than to be ordinary." My answer then was: "Let's see."
 Now, I see. I am right, in as much as that American Beauty character is, in some or other ways. While I may jubilate at the thought that I can go through the mundane and routinary, there is that drive within to look for more than the usual. It is but human nature to look up and find out what else need to be explored, of what else need to be conquered. And these are not all of the outside. Most of the times, it's from the inside. The holes deep within need to be filled. It's a labor to supply the longings that now until, none didst fully satisfy me.
What is life but an irony! It's but our very nature to go the usual while minding that we are for some significance, for something higher in things' greater scheme.
 Never in the recesses of my hypothalamus have it occured that I would be writing something in this subject. You see, I have always thought of myself as an "invictus" - the unconquered - and that pains of this kind are too far-fetched. But then, after a third stick of Winston Lights, and still craving for more, just to while away my loneliness and longings for any signs of the topic of my mind, tells me otherwise. Add to that the sentimental cravings of whatever that will keep my sanity in stitch and listening to songs celebrating the sacredness of 'aloneness', I am left but to admit that something in my system is wrong. And as the question long before asked goes: how can it be wrong when it feels so right?
I always have that great admiration to the power of will and reason but I see myself defying reasons just to give in. I see myself breaking my very rules and shattering the principles I verily erected. Then I say, this should be the last only to find myself again traversing my way to insanity, undergoing the same pain and struggle I have taken. How can the greatest gift to mankind -LOVE- turn out to be a curse? How can loving be so painful? How can I let this happen? So I guess, I'm there... and what an experience to be there....
I rummaged through my "red-tin-can-of-memories" this afternoon and came across this letter sent to me by "Beastie". As anyone hungry for sentiments, I read through the letter and relive the same feeling I was having when I first received it. Beastie is one of the few who knows and understand me well enough to be a best friend (thus, 'Beastie'), though we do not meet with each other that much. By now, she's on the realization of her dreams, "magturo ng mga bata sa kanayunan". Our communication now are limited to letters that bears no date for it not to be limited and enclosed by time (actually, letters are hand-carried and received weeks or even months after sending).
Though her letter was hand-written on pages taken from a writing notebook, it looks computerized with an Arial, sized 8 font. I used to teased her with that. She included this poem she said she thought whenever she finds herself in wondrous places (to the point of being magical) in the portion of space occupied by her small figure - wherever she is by now. Beastie memorized the poem by heart though she forgot where did she encountered the poem and from whom.
The poem says;
 Father, where do giants go to cry?
To the hills,
Behind the thunder,
Or to the waterfall?
I wonder.
Giants cry,
I know they do
wondering, saan nga ba? wheee, Do they wait
'Til nighttime, too?
--anonymus
There it goes. So full of childhood innocence and wonderment. Beastie is right. Giants do cry... they have to.... And yeah, even an invictus needs a respite.
| |
